Life with hubby has been difficult lately. For a long time now, and even our whole relationship, he’s had mood swings. Well, lately they have become worse. We traveled to my parents’ for the holidays and on Friday evening, we opened presents with my brother, sister-in-law, and their 4 kids. My other brother and his partner were there as well. After dinner, we were all sitting around chatting. Hubby first went upstairs by himself. After awhile, I went to see what he was doing and he was on laying on the bed on his phone. I told him he should come down and visit…because it’s rude to be up in the room by yourself when you’re at someone’s house for Christmas. So, then he came down, sat on the couch on his phone and otherwise looked bored out of his mind.
Later when I confronted him about it, he said that there was nowhere for him to sit around the table, so that’s why he just went on the couch. I swear, it’s stuff like this that is so dumb, but has just become the norm. Of course we got into a big argument. I told him next time we’re hanging out with his family for the holidays, I’ll go sit in the bedroom by myself. He can’t understand how that’s rude. Anyways, I asked him repeatedly why he’s been down and he tells me he’s not. But says that he feels like having a few drinks. See, my parents have never drank, so when we are at their house, we really don’t drink.
That’s the story of our life. He can’t relax without having a few drinks. I just get so irritated. So, then for Christmas Eve, we went over to my brother/sister-in-laws house, where everyone was drinking champagne, etc. Of course, he probably drinks 12 beers and then even at the end of the night when he is starting to be obnoxious and loud, he’s still drinking champagne. I quietly tell him he should slow down and then it turns into how he was having the most wonderful Christmas Eve ever and then I had to ruin it. Then he proceeds to tell me how he will never get good enough for me and he can never give me what I want. And should he start making plans to move out? Sigh. At least I had the willpower to just not argue with him this time.
So, now after thinking about how he gets moody easily, I think he also suffers from some sort of anxiety or mood disorder. I looked up a few therapists and talked to him about seeing one together. Of course, he backlashed and said he doesn’t think he needs therapy. LOL. But as of this morning, he’s had a change of heart. He’s hoping the therapist can figure out why I have to control everything. (Since that’s our big issue, LOL.)
I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately and starting to understand more how I am the one who lets his behavior affect me. I think the little bit of reading I’ve done has brought more clarity. In the past, I would have been so upset and wanting to talk to him about everything. But for now, I really feel nothing. I guess this is good and bad. I’m planning to attend my first Al-Anon meeting tonight, so that will be a step in the right direction.
